Don’t get married because the society wants you to do so, do it when you are ready and have found the right one“. Once my friend told me.

As an almost-30-year-old lady, my parents are a bit anxious knowing that their daughter is not married yet. I do understand, but I keep telling them that the right one will come in the right time.

Once, I also dreamed about getting married, having family and kids and being a house wife. In reality, life has not given me a chance to make them true.

I failed many times in relationship and I have learned a lot through it.

A relationship does not always happen well, does not always end happily. Sometimes it has an upside down.

A relationship itself is built by 2 different characters who are expected to fill in the emptiness of each other’s life. It is a way far from perfect.

As I have come across several heart breakers and have overcome the wounds by myself, I’m not saying I am being fussy, yet, I am being too cautious.

A study says that higher IQ women tend to be single than have to be with the wrong person. I truly agree but I’m not saying myself with a high IQ one.

I myself don’t mind being single, I have lists of things to do. But again, sometimes I and my mom have a warm conversation about this issues. She advises me not to be picky. She said that I don’t need to be afraid of marriage life and furthermore, she said that I will love the person after getting married.

I wish I could, mom. But for me, psychologically, I have no idea whom I should trust and should live with. Moreover, life after married is much more complex and sometimes it leads to divorce.

It’s so funny when I get to know a new person and I tell my self straightaway that it won’t last long, and it seems true. Maybe I am cursed to not having any right person for the rest of my life.

It’s also funny when a person comes into my life and starts talking with me for weeks then months and I find him comfortable then he leaves eventually. And I talk to myself, “what did I do?”.

I am not telling myself to not open my heart and eyes to new people, but so far no one has been sincere and honest to me. Then I guess they are not good for me as I am not either.

Mom always says “don’t be ashamed to chase a man, sometimes we have to be more attractive”. 

It’s a big NO mom.

I know I am not a perfect girl, I have flaws, but now I want to take my respect back, my dignity and my pride to not wanting to even have a boyfriend.

I prefer being a limitless single lady.

I will reach 30 in the next 2 years, and I guess it is my boundary between “to have an arrange marriage” or “to be forever single”. 

I will not ask for more about it and enjoy my life as it has to be.

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