A second chance

Few days ago, I read an article talking about love and who to choose for life.

It was written by a man and he said that “Mencari jodoh itu tidak susah, tidak banyak kriteria ini itu, asalkan dia perempuan dan mau sama saya”. 

He was really straightforward.

I admit it that the more I achieve something, the higher criteria I have put to the men who are approaching me.

well, it should not be the most important point to collect, the thing is I should realise that he must “want” me to be in his life.

Since I broke up 16 months ago, men came and went by. I tried to open my heart to them, but I noticed one thing, they never wanted me.

Then I came up with an idea and put up with the reality that, maybe, no one will ever want me the way my ex did. Even tho we break up, we bear in mind that we are longing for each other, deeply.

In these 16 months, we collided with the feeling, between love and hatred, between fear and jealousy.

Love because it is obvious, our feeling hasn’t ceased to an end. Yet, our hatred sometimes dominate our conversation which lead to an endless argument.

Fear because it is vividly seen that we cannot lose each other and afraid that someone else has drawn our attention and shifted the hearts. Jealousy matters to everyone we have come across in our recession.

My friends talk here and there, suggesting me to not sincerely consumed by his persistent action to keep in touch. Some say that he “used” me because he might feel alone and lonely. but I ignored it.

I can’t even think which right or wrong. Maybe it is true, Love is blind.

He comes back, and I wholeheartedly accept him, in wide-open arms.

We acknowledge that the time seems not right for us to love, but we confess that we cannot resist the urge to count on each other.

now I guess, after 16-month of separation, we find our way back, back to write another story, back to lean on our shoulder, back to rely on the love we have shared back then.

He once left me to Europe and I once left him to the southern hemisphere, he once thought there were some girls to replace me and I thought I found some guys to substitute him, but eventually, we found out that, no one could ever want us in our life, except us, ourselves, to one another’s.

He may be the one who wants me the most, and I may be the one who needs him dearly.

then I thought, a second chance is worth a try.

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