Scars

It was one rainy afternoon, she stared at the window, sighed deeply. 

The rain seemed to have had her drifted away, her mind was lost, her body was stuck. She was thinking about her limitless dreams as if she could ever reach them. 

She opened the window and let the wind blow and stroke her hair. She had no one, but she was never lonely. She grew with nature, she was nurtured by pain and failures. 

She was strong. 

She held her breath, closed her eyes and wished she could see her future, the indefinite one. 

“I don’t care”, she said as if she wanted to deny her life. 

Sometimes, her mind provoked her heart, but her heart was very delicate. No matter how hard she tried, her logic never won. 

The rain that afternoon expressed her feelings. 

She was furious. 

She kept the anger, she couldn’t maneuver. She wished she could turn back the time and changed everything. She wished she had a chance one more time to fix her failure. She wished she was lucky enough to be happy. She wished she deserved more than she was expecting. 

She thought the life was unfair. 

She wanted to scream, wanted to run, wanted to flee, far away and never came back. 

“No”, she refused to hear the voice in her head. 

Sometimes she hated herself. Sometimes she didn’t want to see people. Sometimes people just mocked, intimidated and patronized. 

She hated the outside world.

Yet, she never had a place to run. Never had a shoulder to cry on. 

She got changed, grabbed her iPod, turned the the volume on, took her black umbrella and put on her brown suede boots. 

She walked, tried to get out of her cruel world, tried not to listen to other people. She wanted freedom. She wanted to go somewhere, afar. 

She roamed in the city, drenched by the rain. Her eyes felt warm, the tears dropped. She felt like something had torn her heart apart, she was scattered. 

She hated herself. 

She walked even faster, burst into tears. 

She couldn’t breath as if she was choked. 

She was hurt, deeply. 

She couldn’t vividly understand and see what was behind this. 

What she needed was a courage to live, and a detour to enlighten her dreadful life. 

She stopped and sat, wiped her red eyes and say…

“Let’s move on”. 

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